when the tears fall

After I posted the last post, I laid down in bed to sleep and put some music on. I had the urge to write some poetry (as I often do). So I got up and came back here. I tried, but all I could write was the song that is playing. It is beautiful, and this is my heart. I can't steal this song and call it my own, 'cause I never wrote this one, but may you be blessed and encouraged to read it, even tho it is better with music.
*Lord, I pray that whoever reads this will feel Your Spirit fill their presence, wherever they are and whatever they are doing. Thank You for being so faithful Father.*

When the Tears Fall

I've had questions, without answers

I've known sorrow, I have known pain

but there's one thing, that I'll cling to

You are faithful, Jesus You're true

when hope is lost, I'll call You Saviour

when pain surrounds, I'll call You Healer

when silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart

in the lone hour, of my sorrow

through the darkest night of my soul

You surround me, and sustain me

my Defender, forever more

when hope is lost, I'll call You Saviour

when pain surrounds, I'll call You Healer

when silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart

And I will praise you, I will praise You
when the tears fall, still I will sing to You
I will praise you, Jesus praise You
Through the suffering still I will sing

when hope is lost, I'll call You Saviour

when pain surrounds, I'll call You Healer

when silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart

I will praise you, I will praise you

when the tears fall, still I will sing to You

I will praise you, Jesus praise You

Through the suffering, still I will sing to You

Always I sing to You

Jesus I'll sing for You

When the laughter, fails to comfort

when my heart aches, Lord are you there?

when confusion, is all around me

and the darkness, is my closest friend

still I will praise You

Jesus praise You

~ Tim Hughes

what else do I have?

Gosh, I am so poor at keeping journals. This is actually the best I think I've ever done at keeping one up. I'm trying :)

I have been so busy over here in Kona, Hawaii, it's hard to write everything that God is doing.

I will say tho, that He is totally wrecking me. I am so ready for a break, but I know one isn't coming yet. Last night I cried myself to sleep. I realized..."who have I in heaven, or on earth, but You Lord?" And His response was "I will never leave you or forsake you". Such a beautiful thing really, but so painful to get there. Our relationship is being forged together like metals, but the heat in the process is almost unbearable. I don't like being in the fire, but I am yielded. What else do I have but Him? What else?

Absolutely nothing.

And so I cling to my wonderful Maker. I am so desperate and I am in such desperate need of my Father, the only One who will "never leave or forsake me".
It's like I'm desperately clutching the ends of a frayed rope, as I hang over the edge of a cliff. There is no way that anyone will be able to loosen my grip. My life is at stake. And it really is. And so I cling.

I love my Lord. More than anything. But His pruning knife is painful.

Even tho I will never understand why things end up the way they do...

...yet I will praise.

just some thoughts

Have you ever wanted something so bad, that you ached. Probably yes.

I'm writing this entry from Kona, Hawaii, my new home for a couple months...and it's beautiful here. But beautiful isn't good enough. I want more. Actually...I want ugly. I want to be where no one else wants to be. My heart aches for that place in the mud and dirt, covered in mosquito bites, where, when you get sick, help will never make it in time. I want to rely so much on God, that He is all I have. And He is bringing me to that place, first in my heart, before in my physical. And that's hard, because it's easier to change my surroundings, than change my heart...but when my heart is changed, so are my surroundings, because I look at everything differently. Hmmm...I learn more when I write stuff out too...this is good. Inside of me are feelings and thoughts, but that's all they are, a mess of jumbled words, and writing puts them into order, and my eyes are opened to what I really am.



If you are reading this...please say a prayer for me. I am in a season of transitioning, and it's never easy, but the outcome is always worth it. God is bringing me out of my past and into my future. Out of who I was, and into who I am. So, mahalo (that's "thank-you" in Hawaiian) ;)



Well, I'm going to get out of this room, and go to the beach. I have the weekend before classes start, and I think I may be hanging out on a boat tomorrow...I know, sucks to be me eh. ;)

May our Father bless you with truth!

Sharon rose