Where I'm at now...

Well...it has been a while eh. I've received a couple of emails over the last few months asking where I've been, and it caused me to re-read one of my last posts "the cost of freedom". Hmm. Well...I can say I was right on that season. It was hell. One of the hardest seasons I've been through, and it's not completely over yet. Although, life never does seem to be "easy". And oh well, I'm still much alive and fighting and I guess that's what really matters...I haven't given up, nor will I ever give up!

There's no need for me to get into the complaining of how this last year and a half has sucked so bad...but, I can, and will a little, dive into what is good and amazing that came from this season of pruning and fertilizer!

First off, very shortly after my last post, I met my soon-to-be husband :) Yes, very good...but...very challenging. And by very, I mean very. It has been one of the toughest things God has called me to yet (besides watching my mothers life degrade until it was gone, I must say, that has been the hardest). But this is up there.

I can't get into details with why this is so hard, because it's not over yet. Sometimes, when someone doesn't know that they don't know...you can't tell them because they aren't open. But, when they know that they don't know...that's when the door's open...and right now, the door is still closed, and so I will be too. I'll just say things with my beloved have been tough, but we're going to make it, 'cause God said it.

The next "good and amazing" point, is that I'm not the same. I am much more whole than I have ever been, and boy, is it ever good and amazing! By all means, I'm not done yet, but I'm much further than I was. God has crushed me and cleaned up some really dirty areas. It hurt, but it was worth it.

Well, there's an update, a short one, without any details, but there you have it. I'll try to post again soon, touching on more detail, or, just more ramblings...but really, there's no guarantees that it'll be soon.

Thanks for reading :) and may God crush you like a flower so the sweet smell of your life will burst forth!

death by soufflé

Death by Soufflé

I have to admit, when life brings me down

There's only one thing that gets rid of my frown

Emotional eating, that's where I begin

To stuff my face full of my fav'rite sin

Chocolate and ice cream, fudge, cookies and pie

I can hold out no more, dude, it's do or die

The heartache, it's gone, I forget all my pain

Oh it feels so good, I just can't explain

All warm and fuzzy, then bloated and sick

I know what is coming, it's like a salt lick

Addicted at first, you can't pull me away

And then in the end, it's death by soufflé

nothing left to lose

Broken homes and broken hearts
Finding pieces missing parts
A generation hooked on booze
We've got nothing left to lose

Shattered hopes and scattered dreams
We're so tired of all these schemes
A generation with no clues
We've got nothing left to lose

Sex, drugs, and rock and roll
Have all taken their own toll
A generation left to choose
We've got nothing left to lose

Falling down and looking up
Holding just an empty cup
A generation in the pews
We've got nothing left to lose

Giving up and giving in
Radicals turning from sin
A generation in the news
We've got nothing left to lose